Brenden Marquardt knows the effect of entrepreneurship on a marriage. He’s the co-owner of Lori Beds, a direct-to-consumer seller of Murphy beds, those that fold into a wall, and the now-divorced father of two children in grade school.
Unlike most divorced entrepreneurs, Marquardt chooses to publicly share his experience in the hopes of helping others.
He did that recently in our conversation, his second on the podcast. Our entire audio is embedded below. The transcript is edited for length and clarity.
Eric Bandholz: Give us a rundown of who you are.
Brenden Marquardt: I co-own Lori Beds with my brother, Kyle. We sell Murphy beds, which fold up against the wall, allowing alternative uses for the space. It’s a niche product, but it’s gaining popularity.
I’ve been running this business for almost 10 years. We bought the company from the woman who designed the first model. We kept her name, Lori. She’s no longer involved with the business.
Bandholz: You’ve had a rough year, personally.
Marquardt: I moved from Austin, where I had been living for two years, to Brownsville, Texas, where my wife is from. We decided to end our marriage about a year and a half ago. That separation led me to pull away from friends and people close to me, partly out of embarrassment and a feeling of failure.
I wanted to get my life back together before presenting myself publicly again, but I now realize I would’ve benefited from opening up to my friends earlier. The support I received when I opened up made a big difference. Isolation, though sometimes necessary, is not always the healthiest approach.
I’ve realized the importance of maintaining friendships, especially with other men. While focusing on family is important, it’s easy to lose touch with friends. Male camaraderie and support systems are vital, even weekly. I neglected those friendships while prioritizing family, which left a gap in my life.
Bandholz: Did the business affect your marriage?
Marquardt: It likely played a role, especially during the six years I worked at my corporate job while growing Lori Beds. Once I left that job and focused on the business, I had more time, freedom, and flexibility, which benefited my family.
My brother Kyle and I are equal partners in the business. In Texas, community property laws apply, which means assets acquired during the marriage, including our business, are split equally between my ex-wife and me.
She worked in customer service early on, but she’s not involved in the operations now. We’ve agreed that I’ll keep the business, and she’ll receive other assets, such as savings and real estate. This arrangement allows me to focus on growing the business, which is ultimately in the best interest of our kids. If both of us were involved in running the business, things would’ve been much more complicated, affecting my brother and the company’s daily operations.
Bandholz: Was the process amicable?
Marquardt: The problem often stems from attorneys. Lawyers sometimes escalate things unnecessarily, making the process more contentious. Ideally, both parties should reach an agreement and then have lawyers draft it. Unfortunately, when lawyers get too involved, they can create friction, leading you to dig in and fight back, even when you didn’t intend to.
Attorneys get paid by the hour, so they’re incentivized to prolong the process. Controlling the situation is crucial.
Bandholz: Can a couple share an attorney during a divorce?
Marquardt: It’s possible, especially if both parties have agreed on the terms. One attorney can draft the legal paperwork, but it’s still wise for each side to have his or her own lawyer review everything. In most cases, you’re not splitting everything 50/50, so having individual representation is important to ensure fairness. I encouraged my ex-wife to get her attorney because I didn’t want her to feel taken advantage of.
Attorney fees are expensive. Each of us paid several hundred dollars per hour for legal services. Between us, we’ve probably spent $40,000 on attorney fees, business valuations, and other expenses. While we have enough assets to cover those fees, they still add up. That money could’ve gone toward our kids or other family needs.
One helpful strategy is scheduling weekly meetings with your co-parent to discuss financials and upcoming events. It keeps communication open and prevents last-minute confrontations. Maintaining a friendly relationship is challenging, but you can only control your own actions.
My goal has been to never speak poorly of my ex-wife in front of our kids and to focus on building her up in their eyes. Kids need both parents. While our marriage didn’t last, the love for our kids remains, and there’s no need for bitterness.
Bandholz: How can people reach out to you?
Marquardt: I’m on LinkedIn. Visit LoriBeds.com to learn more about the business.